"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
--Albert Einstein
Do you equate the above quote with dating? If you do, it’s no wonder that you are hesitant to step out into the dating world. If this is you, try the following tips to change your experience. Just one of them, if sincerely practiced, can turn your dating life around.
1. Reject Rejection – Make the following your mantra when tempted to conclude that either you or someone else is being rejected.
There is no such thing as rejection, only the wrong fit.
--from Love Will Find You by Kathryn Alice
2. Release your Agenda – Resist the temptation to cry soulmate or to push for what you want, whether it’s sex or commitment, in the early stages of dating.
3. Change your Focus – If it seems everyone around you is dating, getting married, or having babies, accept this as evidence that you get yours too. Even having several dating experiences that did not work out is evidence that you are open to love. Remember this is dating, if you had met your soulmate you wouldn’t be dating anymore.
4. Honor Yourself—If you’ve had a tendency to give too much away and have found yourself in a pattern of relationships that are out of balance, hold back a bit until you see genuine interest on the part of the other person.
5. You Get Love – Remind yourself that you get love. If this one is particularly difficult for you to accept, I suggest that you buy Love Will Find You, Kathryn Alice’s book. Pay particular attention to the first two chapters until you build a greater acceptance of this idea within yourself. You may also want to purchase her Manifesting Love CD. It contains two meditations for putting out your soul call for your One. If you appreciate all of the free support that I offer in love, please use the link below. I earn a small commission on the sale.
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1201832
Sometimes when we step out into the dating world, we find ourselves in a social situation that can feel off-center, desperate, or negative. Here are a few things you can do:
• Leave. Go somewhere where you feel welcome and safe. You never have to do anything or be anywhere that is that uncomfortable for you to find love.
• If you can't leave, take a moment to go off by yourself. Excuse yourself. Go outside for a walk or take a bathroom break. Think of someone or something you love or a place that is soothing.
• If you’re on a date and you’re nervous (can’t talk, or feel as if you’re talking too much), take a moment to show interest in your date. Ask them a question and just give them your full attention. This shifts the focus from you to them and gives both of you an opportunity to connect.
• Take several, long, slow, deep breaths. I usually inhale for 4 counts, hold (lightly) for 4, and then exhale in 8 counts.
• Ask yourself, what idea is upsetting me? Remember when your heart is racing that you’ve gone to a survival level. The tendency is to fight or flee. Look beyond this moment and question how significant this will be 24 hours from now.
• If you are reacting to something someone has said to you, ask yourself how you would react if you thought that they’ve told you something ridiculously untrue. Kathryn Alice refers to it as the “green hair” technique.
• Consider keeping a small card or two with an uplifting affirmation or funny quote in your pocket or purse. Pull it out and read it.
Hugs,
Lisa
• Leave. Go somewhere where you feel welcome and safe. You never have to do anything or be anywhere that is that uncomfortable for you to find love.
• If you can't leave, take a moment to go off by yourself. Excuse yourself. Go outside for a walk or take a bathroom break. Think of someone or something you love or a place that is soothing.
• If you’re on a date and you’re nervous (can’t talk, or feel as if you’re talking too much), take a moment to show interest in your date. Ask them a question and just give them your full attention. This shifts the focus from you to them and gives both of you an opportunity to connect.
• Take several, long, slow, deep breaths. I usually inhale for 4 counts, hold (lightly) for 4, and then exhale in 8 counts.
• Ask yourself, what idea is upsetting me? Remember when your heart is racing that you’ve gone to a survival level. The tendency is to fight or flee. Look beyond this moment and question how significant this will be 24 hours from now.
• If you are reacting to something someone has said to you, ask yourself how you would react if you thought that they’ve told you something ridiculously untrue. Kathryn Alice refers to it as the “green hair” technique.
• Consider keeping a small card or two with an uplifting affirmation or funny quote in your pocket or purse. Pull it out and read it.
Hugs,
Lisa
A Relationship From Heaven - by Lisa Caroselli
1 C. Friendship
1 C. of Joy
1/2 Tbs of Spontaneity
2/3 C. Freedom and Ease
2 C. Kindness
2 Tbs Support
2 Tbs Forgiveness
1 C. Gratitude
2 Tbs of Thoughtfulness
1 pinch of “Remember Why You Love Each Other”
Take the Love and bring it to room temperature so that it softens. Alternate blending in the Joy and the Friendship until the lumps disappear and there is a smooth consistency. Sift together Spontaneity, Freedom and Ease, Kindness, and Support. Mix gently until well blended. Pour into your relationship. Mix together the Forgiveness, Gratitude, Thoughtfulness, and “Remember Why You Love Each Other.” Sprinkle these last ingredients on top, generously.
Fair Fight Rules by Kathryn Alice
1. Wait until you cool down to engage in a discussion with your partner. The worst time to deal with a disagreement is in the heat of anger.
2. Begin by telling him or her that you need to talk. Together, pick a time and place that are neutral.
3. Start the discussion by telling your mate that you’re upset but want to work out the problem. Remind him or her of your love.
4. Don’t use accusatory language. Don’t say “you did this” and “you made me feel that.” Put everything in terms of “I.” “I felt like you . . . ,” “I was upset when you . . . ,” “I think you. . . .”
5. Don’t use inflammatory language. Don’t curse or call each other names.
6. Confine your fight to the issue at hand. Don’t drag in the past or every mistake the other person ever made.
7. Don’t raise your voice. Yell beforehand on your own (maybe into a pillow?), but screaming will produce nothing good when you two are arguing.
8. Don’t jump to conclusions. Many times you will find that your anger is the result of a misunderstanding. Make sure you know just what happened and seek to understand it before getting upset.
9. Don’t assume that you know how your partner feels. Ask him how he’s feeling.
10. Don’t assume that everyone acts just like you would under the circumstances. You have no idea how another human being processes information and situations and decides what to do. Everyone is different, and the way we behave is often not logical.
11. Let your mate love you in his own, unique way, and take care to recognize his expressions of love, even when they’re subtle. He may not express his love for you the way you want, but you can’t assume that he knows how you want him to love you.
12. Practice forgiveness, and give a little more than you think you should (short of letting yourself be emotionally or physically abused).
13. Never make anyone else responsible for your happiness. Don’t make anyone else your source. It doesn’t work. Therefore, your expectations for what your mate can do for you should be reasonable.
14. Apologize easily, and take responsibility for your part of what went wrong. Don’t blame.
15. Don’t take things personally. People do the best they can, and most words and behaviors that could be interpreted as hurtful are simply “blind spots” or issues arising within the person that have nothing to do with you. See the tips earlier in this chapter on how to avoid taking things personally.
16. Before you end the argument, decide how you can work together better next time.
17. End your fight in a space of love and forgiveness. Hug and kiss. Fights not only allow you to work things out, but they also deepen your relationship and lead to a greater understanding of each other.
18. To help prevent future fights, engage in regular spiritual practice either with or without your One. Pray for her and for the relationship. Pray with her if you can. Set intentions together for your relationship. Meditate together.
For more information, or to purchase products please visit:
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1201832
4 C. Love
1 C. Friendship
1 C. of Joy
1/2 Tbs of Spontaneity
2/3 C. Freedom and Ease
2 C. Kindness
2 Tbs Support
2 Tbs Forgiveness
1 C. Gratitude
2 Tbs of Thoughtfulness
1 pinch of “Remember Why You Love Each Other”
Take the Love and bring it to room temperature so that it softens. Alternate blending in the Joy and the Friendship until the lumps disappear and there is a smooth consistency. Sift together Spontaneity, Freedom and Ease, Kindness, and Support. Mix gently until well blended. Pour into your relationship. Mix together the Forgiveness, Gratitude, Thoughtfulness, and “Remember Why You Love Each Other.” Sprinkle these last ingredients on top, generously.
1 C. Friendship
1 C. of Joy
1/2 Tbs of Spontaneity
2/3 C. Freedom and Ease
2 C. Kindness
2 Tbs Support
2 Tbs Forgiveness
1 C. Gratitude
2 Tbs of Thoughtfulness
1 pinch of “Remember Why You Love Each Other”
Take the Love and bring it to room temperature so that it softens. Alternate blending in the Joy and the Friendship until the lumps disappear and there is a smooth consistency. Sift together Spontaneity, Freedom and Ease, Kindness, and Support. Mix gently until well blended. Pour into your relationship. Mix together the Forgiveness, Gratitude, Thoughtfulness, and “Remember Why You Love Each Other.” Sprinkle these last ingredients on top, generously.
Remember, learning not to fight is the best policy. However, when or if a disagreement arises, use these guidelines to get through the situation easily and damage-free. As you follow these rules, you will learn a new and valuable way to resolve differences.
1. Wait until you cool down to engage in a discussion with your partner. The worst time to deal with a disagreement is in the heat of anger.
2. Begin by telling him or her that you need to talk. Together, pick a time and place that are neutral.
3. Start the discussion by telling your mate that you’re upset but want to work out the problem. Remind him or her of your love.
4. Don’t use accusatory language. Don’t say “you did this” and “you made me feel that.” Put everything in terms of “I.” “I felt like you . . . ,” “I was upset when you . . . ,” “I think you. . . .”
5. Don’t use inflammatory language. Don’t curse or call each other names.
6. Confine your fight to the issue at hand. Don’t drag in the past or every mistake the other person ever made.
7. Don’t raise your voice. Yell beforehand on your own (maybe into a pillow?), but screaming will produce nothing good when you two are arguing.
8. Don’t jump to conclusions. Many times you will find that your anger is the result of a misunderstanding. Make sure you know just what happened and seek to understand it before getting upset.
9. Don’t assume that you know how your partner feels. Ask him how he’s feeling.
10. Don’t assume that everyone acts just like you would under the circumstances. You have no idea how another human being processes information and situations and decides what to do. Everyone is different, and the way we behave is often not logical.
11. Let your mate love you in his own, unique way, and take care to recognize his expressions of love, even when they’re subtle. He may not express his love for you the way you want, but you can’t assume that he knows how you want him to love you.
12. Practice forgiveness, and give a little more than you think you should (short of letting yourself be emotionally or physically abused).
13. Never make anyone else responsible for your happiness. Don’t make anyone else your source. It doesn’t work. Therefore, your expectations for what your mate can do for you should be reasonable.
14. Apologize easily, and take responsibility for your part of what went wrong. Don’t blame.
15. Don’t take things personally. People do the best they can, and most words and behaviors that could be interpreted as hurtful are simply “blind spots” or issues arising within the person that have nothing to do with you. See the tips earlier in this chapter on how to avoid taking things personally.
16. Before you end the argument, decide how you can work together better next time.
17. End your fight in a space of love and forgiveness. Hug and kiss. Fights not only allow you to work things out, but they also deepen your relationship and lead to a greater understanding of each other.
18. To help prevent future fights, engage in regular spiritual practice either with or without your One. Pray for her and for the relationship. Pray with her if you can. Set intentions together for your relationship. Meditate together.
For more information, or to purchase products please visit:
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1201832
1. Wait until you cool down to engage in a discussion with your partner. The worst time to deal with a disagreement is in the heat of anger.
2. Begin by telling him or her that you need to talk. Together, pick a time and place that are neutral.
3. Start the discussion by telling your mate that you’re upset but want to work out the problem. Remind him or her of your love.
4. Don’t use accusatory language. Don’t say “you did this” and “you made me feel that.” Put everything in terms of “I.” “I felt like you . . . ,” “I was upset when you . . . ,” “I think you. . . .”
5. Don’t use inflammatory language. Don’t curse or call each other names.
6. Confine your fight to the issue at hand. Don’t drag in the past or every mistake the other person ever made.
7. Don’t raise your voice. Yell beforehand on your own (maybe into a pillow?), but screaming will produce nothing good when you two are arguing.
8. Don’t jump to conclusions. Many times you will find that your anger is the result of a misunderstanding. Make sure you know just what happened and seek to understand it before getting upset.
9. Don’t assume that you know how your partner feels. Ask him how he’s feeling.
10. Don’t assume that everyone acts just like you would under the circumstances. You have no idea how another human being processes information and situations and decides what to do. Everyone is different, and the way we behave is often not logical.
11. Let your mate love you in his own, unique way, and take care to recognize his expressions of love, even when they’re subtle. He may not express his love for you the way you want, but you can’t assume that he knows how you want him to love you.
12. Practice forgiveness, and give a little more than you think you should (short of letting yourself be emotionally or physically abused).
13. Never make anyone else responsible for your happiness. Don’t make anyone else your source. It doesn’t work. Therefore, your expectations for what your mate can do for you should be reasonable.
14. Apologize easily, and take responsibility for your part of what went wrong. Don’t blame.
15. Don’t take things personally. People do the best they can, and most words and behaviors that could be interpreted as hurtful are simply “blind spots” or issues arising within the person that have nothing to do with you. See the tips earlier in this chapter on how to avoid taking things personally.
16. Before you end the argument, decide how you can work together better next time.
17. End your fight in a space of love and forgiveness. Hug and kiss. Fights not only allow you to work things out, but they also deepen your relationship and lead to a greater understanding of each other.
18. To help prevent future fights, engage in regular spiritual practice either with or without your One. Pray for her and for the relationship. Pray with her if you can. Set intentions together for your relationship. Meditate together.
For more information, or to purchase products please visit:
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1201832
I have no idea where this post will go. This title just popped into my head one day while trying to come up with an idea for a blog post. It says it all though, doesn’t it? The biggest challenge in dating is just being in the moment and exploring the connection. Often it seems that it’s much easier for us to let go and “drop our pants” than it is to drop our checklists, relationship history, and emotional walls. While it’s good to have an idea written down of what we want in relationship, often we can use it to avoid being vulnerable. We rule someone out before we get too close.
Choosing to release our preconceived notions and just look for the flow, is a much easier way to date and relate. It also sets the tone for the type of energy needed to maintain a relationship should the first date lead to a second, third, and so on.
It’s a simple idea but not always easy to practice because most of us have layers of experience, fears, and doubts that can block our opening up to love. Often, it requires ongoing support. For many, coaching offers this type of support. The unbiased perspective of a coach can also help you see blocks or blind spots and give you tools to release them gently. If you are interested in working with a coach, I’m offering a mini telephone coaching sessions (15 min for $25) that also includes a follow-up customized affirmation for your love life intention. This offer is valid for appointments booked by July 30th. Don’t wait! Take this opportunity to discover the benefit of Love Attraction coaching. Contact me at l.a.caroselli@gmail.com to arrange an appointment.
If coaching isn’t for you, but you’d like something that you can use to support you as you step out into dating, I highly recommend Kathryn Alice’s products. Kathryn Alice is the author of the bestseller LOVE WILL FIND YOU. Currently, she is having a sale on the Ultimate Release Superkit. I have this kit myself and it is packed with guided meditations and tools for releasing every kind of block you can imagine. Plus it has a great meditation for releasing a lack mentality.
What you get:
The Ultimate Release Superkit contains a 92-page LETTING GO Guide and the equivalent of 12 CD's worth of audio including material on the stages of grief, emotional healing, negativity, anger, and rejection. Plus, there are more than a dozen guided meditations covering every topic.
And as a bonus, you also get a copy of Kathryn's popular "Releasing a Person" audio workshop.
This important material contains information, techniques and especially hypnosis meditations that have worked wonders on thousands and many have requested for YEARS.
For a limited time it is being offered at the lowest published price it'll ever be.
Get clear on new ways of being that will dissolve any BLOCKS you have (including SABOTAGING behaviors) to being at peace with loss. People get addicted to this material and even call it their "love life lifeline" due to its positive influence in their lives.
To find out more, visit the link below:
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=3776978
Talk to you soon, and I'm sending you support for your love life!
Lisa
Choosing to release our preconceived notions and just look for the flow, is a much easier way to date and relate. It also sets the tone for the type of energy needed to maintain a relationship should the first date lead to a second, third, and so on.
It’s a simple idea but not always easy to practice because most of us have layers of experience, fears, and doubts that can block our opening up to love. Often, it requires ongoing support. For many, coaching offers this type of support. The unbiased perspective of a coach can also help you see blocks or blind spots and give you tools to release them gently. If you are interested in working with a coach, I’m offering a mini telephone coaching sessions (15 min for $25) that also includes a follow-up customized affirmation for your love life intention. This offer is valid for appointments booked by July 30th. Don’t wait! Take this opportunity to discover the benefit of Love Attraction coaching. Contact me at l.a.caroselli@gmail.com to arrange an appointment.
If coaching isn’t for you, but you’d like something that you can use to support you as you step out into dating, I highly recommend Kathryn Alice’s products. Kathryn Alice is the author of the bestseller LOVE WILL FIND YOU. Currently, she is having a sale on the Ultimate Release Superkit. I have this kit myself and it is packed with guided meditations and tools for releasing every kind of block you can imagine. Plus it has a great meditation for releasing a lack mentality.
What you get:
The Ultimate Release Superkit contains a 92-page LETTING GO Guide and the equivalent of 12 CD's worth of audio including material on the stages of grief, emotional healing, negativity, anger, and rejection. Plus, there are more than a dozen guided meditations covering every topic.
And as a bonus, you also get a copy of Kathryn's popular "Releasing a Person" audio workshop.
This important material contains information, techniques and especially hypnosis meditations that have worked wonders on thousands and many have requested for YEARS.
For a limited time it is being offered at the lowest published price it'll ever be.
Get clear on new ways of being that will dissolve any BLOCKS you have (including SABOTAGING behaviors) to being at peace with loss. People get addicted to this material and even call it their "love life lifeline" due to its positive influence in their lives.
To find out more, visit the link below:
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=3776978
Talk to you soon, and I'm sending you support for your love life!
Lisa
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